I often think of that mental image of Grandmother. I and my cousins just giggled at her, ignored her and flounced off to do whatever teenage girls did. At that time, I could have cared less about vanity.
Some of the cousins, all grandchildren of my maternal grandmother
Now, I think about vanity. Recently, I had an eye appointment with a specialist. I had a small red spot on an eyelid, and
Then I began to think—despite my protestations to the contrary that I am not vain, of course I am. I think most humans are. It is the degree of vanity that matters. I have thought this through and decided that under no circumstance would I ever seek plastic surgery for the sole sake of vanity. I know there are times and reasons to have plastic surgery done: to remedy horrific birth defects, or to treat someone who has suffered a tragic injury, such as burns. But, too much of plastic surgery is geared towards tightening the faces of movie stars until their faces barely move. Some, in their quest for eternal youth, end up looking quite bizarre. Carly Simon, in her hit song You’re So Vain, enshrines this type of extreme vanity. While she has not revealed who the subject of her song was, people still speculate.
Back to my grandmother. Perhaps part of her concern that her granddaughters not be vain stemmed from her own austerity. Of all my grandparents, she was the most severe. She was a woman who took her religion most seriously. As a convert to a small Protestant denomination, she adopted the plain dress that was typical of her church in the early 1900s. All her life, she eschewed any personal adornment, never wearing makeup or jewelry other than a wrist watch.
Hers was not necessarily the family example that I and my cousins knew about and perhaps even secretly thought about emulating. There was another example that we had heard about. My maternal grandfather had a sister who was “famous” within family circles for her unlined face. The family rumor was that every night she spent time smoothing beauty cream on her face, and massaging her neck so she would not get any wrinkles.
So, no Botox treatments for me. I will do the sensible things that I can—such as staying out of harsh sun, or using sunscreen faithfully, and not smoking. And, if I inherit the good genes of the “famous” great aunt, I will age gracefully without too many lines. Vanity? No, just common sense.
6 comments:
I loved this post. And I am in agreement with you..I watched a movie the other day and the actress, who I thought always had a natural beauty, had lips like a blowfish. It was very distracting..I kept wanting to get a pin and pop them for her.
Oh, Donna, I think we are all vain to an extent. I laughed at the description of your harsh grandmother, “Meaningless; meaningless, all is meaningless.”
I'll never have botox or plastic surgery - I'll just keep pretending the expensive face cream I used every day is making a difference. I do, however, want to have my eyelids raised as they are beginning to rest on my lashes...
I like to look healthy and decently groomed, but I think the media has taken us away from what a truely beautiful person really looks like. To me, that means a person with confidence, kindness and self respect. A beautiful person is not always the "prettiest" person, you just don't realize it.
I am here again - I am addicted to your site Donna!! - every post is just so wondrous to me, as I can't write such beautiful touching deep intelligent stories like yours.
As I have aged and I have grown to know this beautiful healthy body that I have been blessed to possess for a short time - I am glad that I am all me!! I think it is all driven by the huge commercial marketing machine that women/girls must all look the same. I had to learn to love myself as I am at each age and stage no matter what.
You have written a terrific post! Externals are so important, to those visiting plastic surgeons, but also to those who adopt plain dressing with no adornments. Both extremes tend to judge by appearances.
I see a lot of patients after Botox treatments which is given to relieve spasticity after strokes and brain injuries.
Ruth
OK. Confession time. My concession to vanity is hair color. My husband and I both use Loving Care on our almost white hair. It doesn't cost much or take too much time, but it's the fastest way to push back a few years. But 'no way' plastic surgery. Have you seen Priscilla Presley? Oh boy! She went one surgery too far.
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