Do you remember that great scene in "Back to the Future" when Dr. Emmett Brown doubts Marty's story that he is from the future. So he asks him: Then tell me, "Future Boy", who's President in the United States in 1985? And Marty replies: Ronald Reagan.
To which Dr. Brown says in utter disbelief: Ronald Reagan? The actor?
Well, folks, if the seasoned Republican voters in Florida have their way, get ready for the pizza king. That's right. Herman Cain WON the Florida straw poll, beating Rick Perry with 37 percent of the votes to Perry's 15 percent.
Now, I grant you, it in no way grieves me to see Perry lose. But to the Pizza King? (In case you have been living in a cave--which, come to think of it, doesn't sound so bad these days--you may not know that Herman Cain's SOLE claim to fame is that he was the chief executive officer for Godfather's Pizza.)
True, the number of Republicans voting in this straw poll was 2,657 people. So 1,062 people think the pizza king should be president. Maybe they like his 9-9-9 plan: 9 percent tax rate on personal income, 9 percent tax rate on corporate income, and 9 percent national sales tax. The simplicity is breath-taking. Even though no serious economist gives this plan any credence. Oh, for goodness sake, we want simplicity.
We don't want to have to think about anything. And if someone tells us that something is a THEORY, well, kiss that piece of knowledge good-bye. After all, doesn't theory mean "not proven"? Republican candidates are falling all over each other trying to see who can "diss" science the most. Poor Jon Huntsman (uh-oh--here's one of those inescapable word combos--you, know, like "the doomed Donner party" or "the ill-fated Titanic") took the bold stand of supporting evolution by saying "Call me crazy, but..."
But, folks, think we must. For example, how can Herman Cain with straight face propose the simple 9-9-9 plan, when the last 9 means poor people (and everyone else) paying a 9 percent federal sales tax. If you're poor, paying 9 percent sales tax is a killer. A rich guy won't mind paying 9 percent on his yacht, but a poor guy paying 9 percent on food?
Or another example, how can Rick Perry say he thinks the science on global warming was rigged, when Texas is experiencing unheard of weather extremes, and is--as one analyst noted--on fire? Literally!
Well, if Professor Brown couldn't believe that Ronald Reagan, the actor, was president, how about the pizza king?
Oh, do you want that pizza with extra cheese or pepperoni?
Full disclosure--the photo of the pizza? Why, that's from Godfather's Pizza website.