Right now, I bet any number of you reading this have already filled in the rest of the line "you must acquit". Well, you're wrong.
I could also entitled this "Third Time's a Charm"--except that it isn't. OK, what am I talking about.
Trying to buy shoes for someone who is no longer able to be out and about to get shoes fitted.
So, here's the story. My step-mother is currently living in a nursing home. She has Parkinson's disease and, frankly, is far too unsteady for me to try to take anywhere. I have observed staff at the nursing home when they work to get my wheel-chair bound step-mother up for a once-a-day walk. It takes THREE people--first, they attach a strap around her chest to have something to hold on to, then one stands in front of her, while two lift her up.
OK--you get the picture. No going shopping for shoes. So, when I was informed by the nursing staff that she needed new shoes--I did the logical thing. I went to her closet and checked the shoes sizes of her existing shoes. Size 8, or size 7, or size 9. Maybe 9 1/2 -- all were in her closet. She also informed me she has a narrow foot. My solution--take a piece of paper, have her "stand" on it (remember, with three people helping her up) and I trace around her barefoot.
Off to the store I go, and the shoe salesman goes along with my placing the cut-out foot shape on the shoe fitting device (it's called a Brannock Foot Measuring device, for all you purists out there). And he announces size 8. I am skeptical, so I decide to go up a size, and I buy an 8 1/2 size shoe with a velcro strap closing. Back at the nursing home, the shoes seem to fit. But within a week, I hear from one of the nurses that the velcro strap has "broken"--too tight. But, the nurse very kindly sews the strap back on. That works for another few weeks, but then my step-mother's one foot gets irritated.
So, off to buy another pair of shoes. This time I went to size 9 and bought a pair of clogs. Well, yes, they fit, but my step-mother complains that they fall off. I am trying to visualize this for someone not walking, but nevermind.
Finally, I visit a shoe store (Skechers) and buy a lace-up sneaker style shoe in size 9. Laces--perfect. Soft fabric--perfect. Size 9--not perfect. Too tight. (Remember the narrow foot description???)
I return those shoes, and get the exact same shoe in a size 9 1/2. Yesterday, I delivered these to the nursing home. And then I waited--for a phone call: do they fit or not? Today that phone call came--no, they are too tight.
My final recourse--return the exact match shoes. Give up on Skechers (which I like a lot...most comfortable shoes). Then sometime soon, I will visit a local department store. There, I will buy a pair of 9 1/2 WIDE shoes with laces. And that's it.
The moral of this story: If it doesn't fit, you must buy another pair. (I know, I know it doesn't rhyme, but it makes more sense than the original quote.)